Back in the 1970s, we mainly helped the developmentally disabled by giving them tasty human hands to eat. Yum!
Fun fact: The Gadsden Purchase increased America’s Strategic Cactus Reserve by nearly 30%.
Remember when ZZ Top was president, and all the postage stamps were printed with an ink made from high-grade weed? That was awesome.
In the future, when people ask you when the Robot Apocalypse started, you can tell them, “At a post office in Providence, Rhode Island.”
What is that dude doing on his sled? That is disgusting! Even the bird is averting his eyes.
"Out of the right side of the plane, you’ll see the ancient architectural marvel, the Acropolis. You won’t be able to miss it because we’re flying at an elevation of like, 47 feet."
This is why Argentina invaded the Falkland Islands in the 1980s: they wanted the Falklands’ scale model of the British parliament building. Who could resist?
Nice try, East Germany, but the enticement of constant folk dancing did not turn me into a Communist.
Yeah, I like the original Village People outfits better, too.
Yes, it’s a dude on a horse, an old-timey train, a new-fangled train, the boat T-Pain was on, an airplane, and the disembodied heads of George Washington and Ben Franklin in the original Cannonball Run! No one was surprised when Ben Franklin’s disembodied head won (of course), but many were shocked that the dude on the horse was a close second.